Resiliency
by skysplits19
Summary: Shingyouji decides to work and at the same time balance his studies Misu suspect he is keeping something but when they meet at an odd place what could happen...
1. Decision and Plans

Hi this my first Takumi-kun fanfic, I would admit i love Takumi-kun but the Misu-Shingyouji pair is my most favorite pair due to complicated love they have usually I can say sometimes love like that exist... first I want to thank Lady Xyenia for my first review i edit the first page to thank you i was not expecting i will write again but sometimes my mind feels like exploding because of these idea... first I do not own Takumi-kun nor the characters only the storyline... i was imagining the characters in the movie while doing this hope you enjoy hope you like it ^^

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Life after highschool Shingyouji,Kanemitsu's dream came true now he and Misu,Arata are now schoolmates he can't believe that he will be with Misu in the same school though now, Shingyouji decide to be more independent but they still see each other during weekends or during lunchtime or if there are no class they meet, sometimes Shingyouji would be the one to visit Misu if not in his apartment they meet outside the corridor... or for some miracle Misu would go to Shingyouji's class after or at the dorm where currently he is with his roommate Yamada, Taoro...

Happiness can be seen to Shingyouji but till when would this happiness would last?

_I can't feel but sometimes feel nervous though I am so happy but why do i still feel sad... Is the insecurity still here? Being with Arata-san...I know he loves me or so I assume... oh if only Arata-san would hear this he might think I am such a baby..._

Suddenly his whereabouts were interrupted...

**SHINGYOUJI, KANEMITSU YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL... SHINGYOUJI,KANEMITSU PLEASE COME ON THE FRONT DESK AT ONCE**

"What?" Shingyouji gasped

_this can't be happening to me…._ _My parents can't support my studying already? Just a college student and now this is happening to me what should I do... _

He can't believe that just because he did not obey his father's choice of course he decide to cut his tuition fund and starting next year no support will be given to him... All Shingyouji could think was thinking to confide this to Arata –san he knows his lover will help him for his college education but pride stopped him from borrowing something, maybe he can ask Hayama and his lover Gii but either way Arata-san might also know it and he don't want to borrow from his friends.

While walking back to there apartment he is thinking what to do now.

_"I can't quit school or else Arata-san might think I want to quit because I hate studying that's why I decide to study harder in junior year because I want to follow in this school now I will learn my parents cannot support me now because I rebelled against them especially my mom" _ as he was walking he saw a convenience store with a "WANTED: CLERK" I _"this is it I will apply here but… the salary here won't be I will look for at least 2 more jobs and will still juggle with my school" _.

A few minutes later he is now back in his apartment along with hese roommate "TADAIMA!" Shingyouji greeted "OKAERI" greeted by his roommate "nee Shingyouji-kun where did you go? Misu was looking for you he said you were suppose to meet him today in the school cafeteria but after class and after you talk with your mom you just go right away?" Shingyouji can't find a right answer all he said was "I went to the library then I realize I need to go to the convenience store to look for a new toothbrush" "Ehh?" Yamada his roommate response "But you came empty handed" "Haven't found the brand I want"

BEEP! BEEP!

Suddenly he heard hi phone rings and checked the caller ID…

"MOSHI MOSHI? Arata-san?" "Shingyouji I thought we are going to meet today where the hell have you been?"

It was Arata, Misu his lover he also live near the university alone in an apartment though they meet in school they usually just go out during weekends or if exams are already finish but things change Misu is now officially his boyfriend since graduating in Shidou, tough he still keep his cool façade whenever he see Shigyouji's eccentric nature around him, but now he no longer walk behind him now he is always beside him. "Anou Arata-san gomen I went to the library then I realize my brush is kinda used so I decide to look for a new toothbrush then I was not able to find my favorite brand of toothbrush" that's all Shingyouji can answer he cannot tell his problems to him especially financial problems. "Anou Arata-san I cannot go there today I still have a project to finish and we have exams next week" "Hey we just finish exams yesterday" Yamada, Shingyouji's roommate butt in, Shingyouji look at him with an evil stare "Yeah we have Ihow can I forgot hahaha" that's all he can response. "nee Arata-san lets just meet at school BYE. And he ended the call.

After the call Misu can't believe something was not right because he knows Shingyouji's energy level when he called him or when he ask him to meet he never said no or next time.

_something is not right with him maybe he is just tired I will talk to him tomorrow._

"Shingyouji why did you lie to Misu we do not have exams for next week don't tell me you are dating someone" Yamada asked him with curiousity in his eyes. "No" Shingyouji answered "I'll never cheat on him its just that I can't handle seeing him as of right now or anytime, by the way I'll just go out return to the store need to buy my toothbrush and don't locked me again or else I will literally destroy the door" Shingyouji told his roommate "Sorry I did not mean the last time" chuckled his roommate and Shingyouji goes to the store and look for the manager "Anou uhm I saw the sign board there you need a clerk I want to apply for the part time job my name is Shingyouji, Kanemitsu nice to meet you".

The manager look at Shingyouji he seems like not that old manager in his 30's and seem strict "Ah yes we are looking just for a part timer if you really need this job you can start by tommorow" the manager informed him. "thank you very much sir"

_ Good thing my shift is just 4 hours per day and at least I could save and use the salary here to pay for the next rent and the school the problem is… this will not be enough I still need to look for a job…. I am sorry Arata-san but I need to handle things for now… _ as he was now lurking in the nigh he saw a bar _ mere luck they need a waiter well this some kind of decent bar I usually see some students from my school going here or talking about hanging out here… that is my worry but I do need money so… I need to grab my opportunity._

By 10pm he is back in the house and he is now feeling happy he have 2 job one is 4 hrs before his class every day, the other one is being a waiter at the bar during weekends…

_now my multitasking life starts now_


	2. Uneasy Lies

**NOTES: **At last! my second chapter first I was shocked when one of my fave author comment and like my fresh ideas, and I am happy actually when I made the first four chapters even I myself can't believe that I was able to write something in 3 chapters in just one day and then due to some other reviews I was inspired to continue this and decide that after I finish this fiction i will continue to write but I was thinking to continue the Misu-Pairing ideas are suggested so just tell me guy

**INSPIRATIONS:** I was inspired by the writers that have gift to make things reality but what inspired me is the confidence given by you to continue this and finally post this

so here's **CHAPTER 2 ** hope you enjoy! LOVE! LOVE!

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A new week in the University and Arata-san have observed Shingyouji being tired and he is also irritated because now ha just rarely see his boyfriend and if they will meet it will just take an hour and Shingyouji will just inform him that he needs to go now even weekends they will just go out briefly

_ there is something wrong about this he looks tired is there something that he is not telling me damn! Shingyouji how dare you make me worry like this…_

That's' all the upperclassman can think, while Shingyouji seems now immune on multitasking things though he feels like he just want to be a robot since he can just count the hours he slept how he juggle his part time job in the morning and his school during after noon, kendo practice in the weekends till afternoon and the waiter job in the evening during weekends as well.

"nee Shingyouji-kun you seem to be tired and lately you are always out and why did you decide to work? Is there any problem? You know you can also tell me things you know we have been roommates since last year"

Yamada seems to be worried with his roommate "Actually can you keep a secret?" Shigyouji seriously asks his roommate. "WHAT! You are working? Why not sort this out with your mom I mean you look like dead vegetable already and I can even lend you a money after all my dad owns a company in Tokyo money won't be a problem you can just pay me back once you get a job or why not ask Misu about this" Yamada respond to him "That's the thing I do not want Arata-san to know about this especially my savings are almost gone I can't just leave school because of having no money, just because I tell my parents I will not live with either of them they just decide to cut my financial needs now you promise me Yamada-san do not tell this to anyone especially Arata-san." Yamada just reply "if you say so, Shingyouji and you can still smile to me like that.

Good thing this day was Shingyouji's day off at the convenience store so he decide to meet Arata-san. "I am sorry if I was busy lately If I did not visit you as well I can't believe my course would be this stressful" and without hesitation Arata-san kiss Shingyouji on the forehead "BAKA" "do not make me worry ok? And if you have problem tell about it so that I can help you" Misu informed him

_Sorry Arata-san but I can't but you don't need to worry I will still try to make time with you and I will show you my smile and cheerfulness for you not to worry _

after a while Shingyouji kisses him back seems like they miss so many kisses. "Oh by the way Hayama, Saki and Akaike will be meeting us on Saturday evening at Kato Bar.. "EHH! What Arata-san anou on Saturday? "Why" asked misu raising an eyebrow? "is there a problem?" "Arata-san I can't uhm because _it's my place of work Arata-san and I don't want you to know I am working just look at other bar _ "uhm why Kato Bar? There is another bar just like blocks away why not just go there" Shingyouji suggests "and by the way I cannot also come with you Arata-san" Misu exclaimed "why?" Shingyouji can't find the answers to provide Misu "I'll be going to my grandma's place on weekends"

That's all the lie he can think off _ I feel so stupid right now and even though I can't go I urged him not to go to that bar so that he will not see me _"I see well I know you missed her not a problem with that and do not worry we'll just go the other bar since you suggest its better but if I am not mistaken Kato Bar is the most popular bar here. "Well it's a very common place for people from our university" "I just don't want you to see same face everyday" responded Shingyouji.

And so the reunion happen "I feel so sad Shingyouji is not here with us I kinda miss him he just rarely call us" It was Hayama, Takumi now a 2nd year College taking up Biology in Toudai, "Well you seem to be so close and thanks to that Misu and I were able to bury the hatchet"

Hayama's lover Gii or Saki Giichi currently in Keio taking Business Administration though Takumi and Gii are on different school they both live in one apartment which was a gift from Gii's parents. Akaike, Shouzo butt in "well it has been a while well we are all busy after all though the 3 of us usually hangs out unlike you two seems to be hard to contact I know you are proud of Shingyouji that he passed Waseda and become schoolmates with you" Akaike joked, Misu smirked "well he did study very hard and he is one of the top student as of right now in his batch I think he can compete with me now academically speaking"

Misu can't help but be proud of his boyfriend who shows him he can be taken seriously. Gii interrupts "well I am kinda hungry why don't we order food" "Mou Gii your stomach is really a blackhole we just ate at home now you are hungry again" Takumi teased his boyfriend "well Takumi with you everyday I always feel hungry" joked Gii, "Hey stop flirting you too, seriously Gii why just transfer to Toudai with us since you always meet Takumi after his school"

Akaike sarcastically suggest, "That's a good idea" responded Gii "nee Gii don't joke around like that you don't want your parents to scold you or to disappoint them you know " Takumi told him seriously "well lets just order drinks and food, and Misu this bar is so cool I thought we will try the other bar" "Well this bar is really cozy I just don't know what came to Shigyouji;s mind when he mention to try that other, but Kato Bar have the best service".

And so they order food and drinks at the backroom Shingyouji just arrive he was not able to notice Arata-san and his friends were there and by coincidence they did not notice him. "Sorry am I late?" Shigyouji ask his colleague "Just on time oh number 16 orders Margarita and nachos and fries please bring this to them" Sure!" Shingyouji responded cheerfully As he was walking

_oh no! what are they doing here? They did come here what will I do? Oh no!_

"Anou Ogata can you yake this order to table 16?" "Sorry men i'm in charge with 15 and 13" Shingyouji has no choice and walk towards them "UHM….Here are your orders would there be anything else?" Misu responded "Yeah I need….. looking at the waiter

_What the fuck is he doing here? I thought he was at his grandma? _

Shingyouji?


	3. Discoveries and Explanations

**NOTES: **This is one of my fave chapter as well call me a sadist but I do love Misu's expression of jealousy when someone approaches Shingyouji, admit it Shingyouji(the movie version in PURE) he is cute i like him and actually I like there chemistry the best...

**AGAIN I DOT OWN TAKUMI-KUN NOR MISU-SHIGYOUJI PAIRING JUST THE STORYLINE I WISH I OWN THEM **

****SO HERE'S CHAPTER 3 AND AGAIN PLEASE REVIEW AND ENJOY, IF YOU HATE IT I HOPE YOU SAY IT IN A NICE WAY, IF YOU LIKE IT THANK YOU...

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Silence filled the bar as Misu saw Shingyouji, this explains why his lover rarely meet him and always limited in there time it was because he is working, the thing that Misu hated was how come Shingyouji did not mention this to him and even lied to him

_When did you learn to learn to lie to me how dare you do that to me you know what I am to you _that's all Misu could think.

"Anou" interrupted Shingyouji "I will be your waiter for today if ever you need something just call my attention" The four of them are stunned to see Shingyouji working and serving them "Hey Misu do you know about this? Is this the reason he does not want us to go here?" asked by Akaike while Hayama is just looking for his previous kohai serving other people.

Misu stand up and go to the counter "Where is your manager? You see that guy have him stop serving and let him join us" "Erm sir I am afraid if we do that we might be short of staff" Misu gave the guy an evil glare that he had no choice but to call the manager, in the end Shingyouji just joined them,

"Anou I am sorry on lying guys" Shingyouji apologize Hayama exclaimed "why would you do such things like this? Do you have any problem" He really is concern to his good friend "Huh? Do not worry Hayama-san I am ok uhm I just try to work to experience what it feels like to work you know at least upon graduation I no longer need to fret when it comes to job" "When does Sports Science related to bartending Shingyouji?" asked by Misu in an irritated tone "Erm" that's' all Shingyouji could reason _I am really sorry guys but I need to endure this especially to you Arata-san I need to learn to be independent, _ that's all Shingyouji can think to himself "Hey!"

there was a group of guy that shout at Shingyouji "I did not know you can interact with customers come with us how much will we pay?" Gii, Misu and Akaike looked at them like if only looks could kill they could have died already "Gii" Hayama seems to know what could happen so he try to control his lover. Misu wants to stand up but "Arata-san no they might be drunk its ok they are one of our regular customer maybe they just drink too much today" Shingyouji knows the evil glare once it marks Misu's eyes its like there up until the end of the world. "Do you know we have like you since you work here but you seem like a snob but you joined them why don't come here and come drink with us" One of the guy is already at there table and starts to hold Shingyouji but…

There was an arm that swing on his face "You bastard! Hands off one more action I won't think twice to kill you" all of them was wide eyed with what happen and the mangaer approach them and apologize Gii and Akaike pay for some damages, Shingyouji apologize on the manager but he saw the situation and advice Shingyouji to just go home and just be back tommorow, he walked behind Misu. Gii, Takumi and Akaike bid there farewell to them, since its now the middle of the night. "Now you"

Misu informed Shingyouji, The young lover can only bow his head he cannot look Misu in the eye,we will talk tonight you will stay on my apartment…. "EH!" gasped Shingyouji

-Lady Xyenia thank you for the first review i know it sucks for now coz i don;t have the gift of writing all iwant was to show reader the indepent side of Shingyouji without alwalys clinging to Misu thank you for the first review to all who will read this criticism are open just dnt be harsh coz this was the first time i will still update this but i will just be busy due to studies, work yup i work in the evening and i study in the afternoon just like this story ^^


	4. Choices,Chances and Changes

**NOTES:** Finally my 4th Chapter, well first whew! glaring Misu, I was thinking of a longer fight scene in a bar but though i hate Misu and like him at the same time I decided to stick with his still cool image(yeah! next time i'll be cruel to him _sarcastically laughing) _

so what i decide is little sassy Shingyouji trying to have his own way though in the end i give up, I can't believe this whats with Misu anyways argh! oh well now you know why I love them because Misu make my blodd boil, Shingyouji makes me calm

**AGAIN I DO NOT OWN TAKUMI FIC JUST THE STORY ^^**

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Upon arriving at Misu's seems like no one started to say a word feels like they are in a tomb so quiet, but not peaceful. _This silence is killing me all he just do is look at me I know I lied to him but this has nothing to do with him _

"**ARATA-SAN DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN CAUSE ME MY JOB, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO THE CUSTOMER!**" Shingyouji shouted even Misu was shocked for him to shout like that "**THE GUY IS HARASSING YOU IN FRONT OF ME AND YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DO ANYTHING! WHAT AM I TO YOU**?**THAT I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO PROTECT MY BOYFRIEND**? **AND WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME WHEN DID YOU LEARN TO LIE TO ME**"

Misu did sound angry and seem frustrated this was for the first time he shouted like that he does not want to shout in the first place but _he started it he knows the reason then he will ask me why? _"I am sorry, Arata-san, but this is my problem not your problem, if I will not do this I cannot be able to continue my studying I need to learn to help myself, I need to stop clinging on you, do you think I am always happy being with you? You make me depend on you, but then I realize…." Shingyouji's tears began to drop on his eyes "there is one thing I realize if there is constant in this world it was "change", I need to make a choice a choice for myself"

Misu was shocked on what he heard he can't believe his lover will said those words to him "Shingyouji I am not just anyone you know you can borrow money from me, how come you impulsively decide and think like that" "Its not your money its your parents money ! since highschool I cling into you I depend on you I always follow you behind do you remember when I told you during Tanabata? What if I stop following your back? Not just in aspect of relationship but in aspect of life, I can no longer change the past but I can go and make my own future since I can't let go of it, for someone like you, Saki-sempai or Akaike-sempai you live in life that does not experience hardship after college you have secured jobs not just job but you will take over your families' business, but me even Hayama-san we experience hardship, so we know the importance of every little things" Shingyouji turn towards the door and walk away "If you will provide me money I will accept it if the money comes from your own effort" Misu was shocked to see Shingyouji act with pride _how can this happen? _

_How can this be he does not realize I care does he know how worried I am in what he was doing? _

Shingyouji went home he feels that he might have hurt Arata-san with his words but what can he do he prmise himself that he will be a worthy lover of Misu from the day he passed the entrance exams in the University even initiatively declining Misu's offer to live with him without paying the rent because he thinks that he should learn to not depend on him he can no longer be the crybaby Shingyouji back in Shidou, but why did he cried? Was it because he knows deep inside he can't miss a day without Arata-san? He knows it well it was the reason but to think of it he always dream someone to love him Misu was able to give the love he wanted for a long time

_I must be harsh on him but I can't be weak I must be tough in things I can't be the Shingyouji I was before, I do love him but… depending on him is different…. This is the reality I must face if I keep denying things like these happen, I cannot be the person I want to be, a tough one…_

Shingyouji return to the bar and apologize to the manager "Anou I am really sorry about the fiasco that happened here last night" He feel embarrass about what happen "It's ok I would even do the same if I see a friend being harass, or he is more than your friend? Shingyouji was shocked on this statement by the manager "I may be old but not stupid a friend is always there to protect but a person who loves you will kill someone who will try to hurt you, you are lucky Shingyouji not all people can be bless to have someone like him sometimes there are things that you need sacrifice but that kind of love its like a cherry blosson that only blooms in winter you can't find a guy like that in a million years" Shingyouji was shocked to here that to his own boss, it was like telling him that sometimes you need to learn when to say NO and when to say YES to something. _ I think I know now…_

"Nee Shingyouji are you now sure about this? Well you know I'll miss you I mean this room will now be empty without you, you know…

"Yamada thank you very much for being such a nice roommate and don't worry I will still visit you during weekends and now I resign at the convenience store my work is just at the bar, since my boss gave me fair money good to cover for my tuition fee at least…" Shingyouji continue to pack his things and goes out of the door

_sometimes in life you nedd to make choices but at the same time you need to learn how to take risk…_

Misu seems depressed after there last encounter its been a week since he never saw Shingyouji he may not show it but only with Shingyouji he can be his true self he had proved it many times, Tanabata day in highschool, during the Valentines day when an upperclassmen invited him on a date he publicly stopped Shingyouji going with that guy… everything that he had done not to lose Shingyouji he already did...

_was it bad to show him I need him beside me was it bad to let him know that I also cling to him was it bad that in my own way I show him I love him and know what is going through…._

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Seems like Misu's daydreaming was disturbed by the knocks on the door, he was thinking it could have been his classmates since it will be now there exams next week maybe they will borrow his notes or maybe mailman giving him a letter either from his parents or other highschool friends, but when he opens the door, he was shocked and did not expect the person in front of him

"Shingyouji" he gasped he did not expect to see the young man in front of him but what are the things with him? _Can it be?... _"Anou Arata-san, I decide to just live with you maybe sometimes I also need to lower down my pride" Shingyouji smiled at him, Misu hurriedly goes to Shingyouji to hug the younger guy, but the young lover stopped him "Wait though I decided to live with you first things first about money I decide to live here since you are the one paying it in full but in exchange of letting me live for free, I'll run errands at home you will let help you around home and I will be the one from now on who will cook for you, no more instant noodles, everything will be homemade from now on… and for my enrollment I guess its not bad to borrow from you not give but borrow it as a loan and… only half of it... I will still work in the bar" Misu in shock reacts "But"?, but he was stopped by Shingyouji and continue to tell him his conditions

"Though I will work there if by chance you and your friends will be there and you sense something could happen to me I won't mind you saving me again, just next time promise me to control your temper because I also don't want you to get hurt, it hurts if something will happen to you, when you make me worry Arata-san… without a word Arata-san grabbed Shingyouji and kissed "nee Arata-san Sukidesu" Misu smiled "finally you said it again" He may not say it in words but still Shingyouji was happy he knows he is not the only one change but Arata-san exchange kiss occurs between them always have love… it always feel different from the once they had before

"we may not be there yet but maybe love can be powerful sometimes to have someone to be with you when you feel like the end will be there, Arata-san I promise we will now share our sorrows no more secrets" Shingyouji buried his head in Misu's neck seems like he miss his lover's scent his everything, he realize maybe this was the reason he love so that to have someone to be with him when he feel down, someone to make him feel that things could be better...

_I am not the only one that had changed but Arata-san... somehow i think No... I know Arata-san did love me though he may never said though he may never will but maybe i am afaraid to hear it but I am happy though sometimes i would be burt and i will still cry but this hurt that made me cry is called "EXTREME HAPPINESS"_

**-whew! no proofreading done i know there is a lot of errors due to impulsiveness of publishing this I kinda not correct some mistakes but I hope you like it well I am currently getting ideas to make more fics, but i think i will be i hiatus for like weeks due to my exams (yeah! boring!) and with a split off one day rest will be now dedicated for my studying**_  
_


	5. One Hand, One Love

**NOTES: **This is the first chapter that i put a little love scene and trust me even I myself ask is this really a love scene i know whoever read this will be bored hahaha no sound laugh all you can because even I do because I feel like laughing as well because... I try to make it still as wholesome as possible though i find it weird because I am writing a fanfic on a BOYS LOVE... the reason I add this was when i check my own fic I was shock with a review and YES this was my first time to write a FIC or to ever write at all. for 4months(the first time I accidentally enter this amnga fic) stories came up in my mind I mean a lot of storylines especially this pair(don't let your hopes up Misu I still hate thank Shingyouji that I have started to like you as well) just kidding i hope i could really bully him. Some may be curious why I put this idea up, well personally speaking i kinda believe in celibacy you know waiting for the right guy or should i say the **RIGHT ONE**.

**AGAIN I DO NOT OWN TAKUMI-KUN NOR THE PAIR BUT ONLY THE STORYLINE**

hope you enjoy the **5th chapter **and right now my heart is also beating

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Ever since Shingyouji lived at Arata-san's place seems like he can't still adjust to his lover's place… First the apartment was well cleaned and it was obvious that a responsible person live in that place and also in Shingyouji;s perspective Arata-san always did spend the night studying so there was a tendency that even he came from work he could notice the upperclassman still awake.

And now he sleeps with Arata-san in the same bed but something is weird though they do love each other there is something that makes Shingyouji nervous being passionate with Arata-san. He is still not accustomed of being with him and sleeping with him. Though they attempt to do it during there freetime something always happened "Anou I think I am kinda hungry would you like me to cook you something" Misu just frown and just would agree to what his lover would say "yeah go and prepare the meals" disappointment is obvious in his voice.

_Third time fail again.. can't help is having sex really that bad? If this continue I swear I will really enter the seminary once I graduate college_ _if this continues_

Who can blame him the only time they were intimate was in the dressing room during Tanabata day but it was just a kiss since they could not go further because they are in the dressing room and someone might caught them…

Almost exams at there school is now finish and Shingyouji was also given 1 week off from his work so he can just for now concentrate on his studies and Kendo practice and of course spend time with Misu. "Nee Arata-san I have a long week off from work would you like to go somewhere? Like watch a movie or have dinner somewhere else?"

With a hope in his eyes that Misu will say yes since there are a lot of things to catch up. "Yeah sure well since all exams are gone I think we can enjoy as well" Shingyouji jumps up with joy and sit on Misu's lap and smile he started to kiss him in the cheeks and gently kiss him on the lips. Misu smirked and return the kiss more passionately and feels like the heat is in there body now but as Misu's hand goes on the younger man's shirt to unbutton it, Shingyouji jump out "Uhm" his face becomes redder now and look away at Misu "I'll just prepare us a sandwich and juice just wait here okay" he feels his heartbeat faster when he walked into the kitchen.

For 4 years seems like he still not ready for it, when he felt the climax he snapped out of reality and stop it himself, in the kitchen he fells like his body was shaken.

_I can't believe that we almost went this far but I am still afraid to this I don't think that we nee to go this far I mean people can love each other without it right? But I just feel afraid and nervous and right now this really makes me feel weird I just don't know… I really don't know… _

Shingyouji decides first to go to the library to return the book that he had borrowed he bumped in to his former roommate "Yamada! Hey I heard you have roommate now?" "Yeah well he is cuter than you and even sexier we are kinda getting along, REALLY getting along" winked Yamada, "well that's good I mean we know you are not that hard to please, I get along with you easily" he smiled after he said those words Yamada laughed at him "Don't tell me…" Shingyouji stared at him with curiosity "What?" "You know what I mean, A VIRGIN!" Shingyouji blushed at what his friend had just said he cover his friend's mouth feeling embarassed. "Thank you CNN! And whats the connection of that in what I said?" "You see my roommate and I are kinda on the intimate level well lets just say we are on the stage of getting to know each other and we shared mutual feelings and you know what I mean of what we are doing…" "UHM ok… but you just know each other like a month right?"

And why would everyone would always jump on that level?" Yamada can't help but laugh "are you sure you're a college student I think you never learn SEX EDUCATION from class you know its part of lesson you need to know or maybe from your boyfriend, tell me what do you usually do when you're together?" Shingyouji can't help but feel shocked about what he is hearing now "Well we kiss we study together and… WAIT! Do I need to tell that to you,? You know what I'll go home now I still need to cook for our supper later and whatever you are doing I am happy for you bye" Shingyouji leave and run quickly he felt nervous after that conversation he again feel his heart beating faster but. Seems like the heartbeat is far from normal now

_I do not want to regret it that's why I don't want to do it what if in the end that's all he would look for, once we do it, what if in the end we hurt eache other and we fell apart and then we just look for it that's why we stayed together… Ah my mind hurts because of this…. But back in Shidou I know Gii-sempai and Hayama-san, they… they are intimate but I know they do love each ther that is a different story but us… it might change… I am afraid…_

Shingyouji decides to vist his workplace to talk to someone his boss, he may look like in his 50's and this guy was nicer from his previous boss in the store he become his confidante as well maybe he can get some advice…

"Shingyouji its still your off right why are you here" "Kudo-san I just need someone to talk to" Kudo-san laugh at him because of what he said "Remember when I told that kind of guy you cannot find it in a million years and why are you afraid because you might just end up in a physical relationship, look son i know most people might do it for fun but would it be lovelier if you do it with love I don't think he will be just intimate with you because he wants to but he loves you, I have that experience before my first love…" Shingyouji seems to be absorbed by his boss story in the end he just smiled and had this visual in his mind…"She will always be my first love no regrets because when we do it there was love and I will always remember it"

When Shingyouji arrives at home he notice Misu sitting beside the windows of there bed "Arata-san Tadaima" "Okaeri where have you been?" "to Kudo-san just visited him, you hungry? I'll cook something special"…Misu still leaning on the windows "Sure go ahead I'll follow afterwards" after his young lover go away he just gasped and think of something.

_I don't know why I feel depresses why can't I be intimate in him is he thinking that is what I was after but I patiently waited for many years, was it because I never said those words to him but how many times do I need to prove him that what I am saying is true that I do….Love him, hold him to make him feel he's always safe, kiss him to let him know I am always with him and be with him to tell him we always belong together…forever… _

Misu decide to go down and he was shockes when he notice candles on the floor and there was a music in the background, and he saw Shingyouji surprising him "Arata-san Happy Anniversarry, actually since we have no offical date of when we really became lovers I decide this to mark our annivesarry because this was the month I saw you when I decide to enter Shidou, when I realize I was in love you and when my world was change because of you." Shingyouji walks closely to Misu and hugged him and suddenly he initiated the kiss, Misu was shocked at what Shingyouji had done but he can't help it but feel happy "Arata-san" Shingyouji's tone was kind of nervous but seems like he sure knows what he wants to say at that very moment "you always said I belong to you your possession I…want to be your possession I want you to take me, I want to give you something that no one can never have"

Misu was shocked to what his lover had said "Are you sure?" "Hai" Nervousness can be seen on his eyes but he is sure of want he wants, he is now ready… He may not have anticipated this would happen but now he is willing to prove Misu how much he loves him.

Misu grabbed Shingyiouji and began to kiss him passionately and he return the older man's passionate kisses as well when they reach the bed Misu push Shingyouji and kiss him again on his lips down his neck while, Misu had also unbuttoning his shirts,

Shingyouji couldn't help but feel nervous, Misu had already taken his shirt as well and his pants as he return to face Shingyouji, he was closing his eyes with his hand on the bed sheet feels like trembling "Shingyouji its me open your eyes, don't be afraid I am always here" Shingyouji slowly open his eyes and look at Misu.

_Those eyes…those are the eyes of a person who loves me… the voice of the person who cares for me, the touch of a man who makes feel loved…_

Shingyouji, began to clasped on Misu's shoulder for every pleasure he feel, his nervousness has now subsided, he can feel Misu when he decide to enter him. "Arata-san!, and he hugged his lover because of the pain he is feeling right now but he knows that pain was long gone and replace with touch of love..

Afterwards in the middle of the night in which only the bedsheets served as there cover in there body, Shigyouji's head was buried in Misu's chest , while Misu looked down at his youngerl lover playing in his air, and then Shingyouji try to get up to look at Arata-san and say "Arata-san" but Misu cuts him off "Sukidesu" Shingyouji lookes at him wide eyed, it was the first time in 4 years that Misu tell that words to him "Eh?" "If you did not hear what I said, that is your fault for not listening i won't repeat it again" Shingyouji smiled, he knew what he have heard and seems like this was the best night he had and he know he can now sleep peace…

_Make of our hands one hand, m__ake of our hearts one heart_ _make of our vows one last vow_ _only death will part us now_ _make of our lives one life_,_day after day, one life n__ow it begins, now we start,__one hand, one heart_ e_ven death won't part us now_

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**Well! i don't know i do not have an idea why i write this yeah i know it is a lousy lovescene cause i don't intend it to be super smexy i am not ready for that writing maybe when i became a pro and also once my writing feels like this is the path i can go and this become my natural hobby, though i read smexy scenes of authors i cannot do that yet they are way better than me but still i hope you enjoy...reviews and suggestions but do not be cruel this was the first time i wrote something which is always in my mind... the last line is from The Musical Westside Story**


	6. Roots Before Branches

**NOTES: **i will dream Shingyouji to love someone aside from Misu though i want to do it on a different story but i decide to make a little flasback of this story now this is the official ending and i really don't know how i ended this with a flashback hahahaha...

**AGAIN I DO NOT OWN TAKUMI-KUN NOR THE PAIR JUST THE STORY**

YEAH NOW SOMETIME MISU CAN BE CHILDISH YOU KNOW

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Back in Shidou, Kanemitsu, Shingyouji, a kouhai who was always in love with Misu,Arata would always enjoy being at the executive office, he always enjoy the upperclassman's presence and would not miss a day being with him "Arata-san I'll just stay here okay?" "whatever do what you want".

Though Misu seems cold to him he enjoy the presence of the younger man and don't care less if he is just staying to watch him since he had always been devoted to Misu.

But this month seems like different though Misu won't notice it ever since last year he would notice that in a particular month Shingyouji would be gone and went home on the weekends or sometimes be gone in a week. He ma not show it but this sometimes irritated him whenever the younger man's presence is gone.

"Going home this weekend again? You file a week leave aren't you gonna miss studies because of that?" "do not worry Arata-san my roommate will be providing me some notes once I return and Matsumoto-sensei told me he will give my advance copy of some lectures"

_yeah always like I though he does not want to go home but this month is always different what would make him go home there? Like the hell should I care_

Suddenlt while they were talking Shingyouji seem to drop something, a woven necklace seems like a friendship bracelet. "hey you drop this" Misu hand him the object, "oh thank you, jeez I thought this was lost nee Arata-san I need to get ready now okay bye"

Misu returned to his dorm room where he saw Hayama-Takumi going out, he is sure he will meet Saki again in his room but before the ebony guy could got outside "Hayama", "what is it Misu?" "you and shingyouji were close right? Is he telling you something like his personal life?" Misu can't help but now be curious about his pet's life "Anou, well he always talks about you like how can you like him or how can he go out with you, that guy really loves you more than you know I'll go ahead now Gii is waiting for me"

_Hmm what would I do… 2 days from now he will be gone again, maybe I need to take some actions, why do I need to do this efforts argh!_

Misu can't help thinking but first he decide to sleep for now because he is tired because of the council's workload.

September 16: Shingyouji now arrives in his hometown in Fukouka he really felt sleepy since he lack sleep yesterday, as he prepare all his belongings, he decide to go outside and went to visit a family friend.

"Oba-chan, how are you? Long time sorry I am kinda late I kinda left my things at home first to my aunt's place and decide to visit here, have you been there already?"

"Yes we did, we went there yesterday already we are sorry we are not able to wait for you"

"Its okay I will be going there tommorow thank you for the meal, I'll go home now"

Shingyouji walks outside and arrive at her grandma's house "TADAIMA" "OKAERI, Kane-chan there was a gentleman looking for you earlier but he does not tell me his name.

_Who could that be, well I am not that known here in my hometown maybe a friend of my friends asking for my condition_

"Thank you so I'll just sleep I need to sleep early in the morning and I will go first to the flower shop after I wake up"

7am Shingyouji wake up and take a bath and eat his breakfast afterwards he no goes outside and wen to a flower shop, and bought a boquet of flowers beautiful peach roses. He does not notice someone seems to be watching him

_why did he have flowers and to whom is he going to sent those, don't tell me he had some other guy here.. oh you'll pay for that if what I find out is true._

Shingyouji continue to walk and reach a grave hill and he laid the roses he bought. On the grave it was written:

**Kenta, Mamoru**

**(1989-20xx)**

"Nee Mamo-chan how are you I am so sorry if this is the only time I visit you, you know that I am busy with studies and you that I already harbored feelings for someone, but do not worry I still like you you know I love you in my own way until now I can't still forgive you when you left me 2 years ago, you said we will go together in highschool, but now I understand why you left me, because it was now your time to go." Shingyouji can't help but still continue to cry he always cry but this was a tears of a person that is both happy but sad at the same time.

"Anou Mamo-chan will you be angry if I told you that I want to forget you and move on? Not that I will totally forget you but you would like it too, you told me before that I should always smile and love someone that will not leave me, but I would admit to you I still love you I think I can''t let you go!, its hard to let you go. Do you think what made me always return here next year you were the only one on my side during those times I feel that I do not belong to anyone, why does this need to happen, if you have been here till now maybe… maybe we could have been….."

"Please let this man go!" Shingyouji was shocked when he look back and see Arata-san he was panting seems like he followed him in his hometown.

"How?"

"I follow you here I decided to take a leave and you how curious I can be so this is where you go during this month" Misu walks and goes near to the grave. "you whoever you are let this man go he belongs to me now, he may be hard-headed and his mind might be full of your thoughts but, I will replace them with all happy memories I don't care if you're the other world but if you will be my competition I will not lose to you. I will have his heart and and I will have him completely so I am sorry for stealing him to you but like I said I will not lose to you" Shingyouji was shocked on what he have heard

Misu and Shingyouji walks together and till now he can't believe what the older man had said "who was that guy anyway and why didn't you tell me about it"

"Uhm he was my childhood friend eversince my parents quarrel I would go to my auntie's house there I met Mamoru, he would always makes me laugh and makes me forgets my problem, he promise to me that not only in highschool but we will study together to go to the same university,"

it was obcious that tears still fell on Shingyouji's eyes while reminiscing what had happened.

"But… 2 years ago before I went to Shidou he died, he did not tell me he had a heart disease since he was a kid all whats left that come from him was this bracelet so I always keep it but I think its time…." Shingyouji take off the bracelet and let the have it flowed with the wind

"Maybe its time to pick up the pieces of my life and finally move on"

Misu look at Shingyouji and held his hand

"promise to study hard and make sure you will pass the University exam where I will be admitted next year, stay with me and do not like anyone else"

"Eh?" Shingyouji suddenly smile "hai! Arata-san Sukidesu" Misu smirkes and response

"yeah, I know… oh next year lets go back here, I will show my competition you're happier with me" Shingyouji can't help but laugh at his master's childish behaviour

_The first time I ever saw your face I thought the sun rose in your eyes.. and the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave through the dark and the end of skies. The taste of first love is always wonderful but no on can beat the power true love_

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_**WOW NOW I ENDED THIS WITH A DIFFERENT WEIRD ENDING IN MY OPINION THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND I WILL BE IN OFFICIAL HIATUS STARTING NEXT WEEK BUT IF I AM GIVEN FREETIME I WILL STILL MAKE STORIES FOR YOU GUYS XOXO**  
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